Bible Verse

Beg as loud as you can for good common sense. Proverbs 2:3

Friday, December 19, 2014

Once Agan, Confusion Reigns

Do you know a confused old person?  Not a seemingly old person because you’re young and they seem old (Example:  You’re 20 and think 45 is over the hill).  No, I mean a real old person, say around… well, you know if you fit into this category.

I am a senior citizen according to my mirror and my almost 13-year-old AARP membership.  I can tell you why older people sometimes seem confused:  They are.

Everything has changed!  And keeps changing!

Have you noticed the teeny tiny print on everything from aspirin bottles to that stuff that scrolls across the bottom of the TV screen? 

And have you noticed that bottles are nearly impossible to get into?  My mother has glaucoma and puts drops in her eyes every night.  You wouldn’t believe the trouble she has trying to pry that small bottle open. You’d think there would be some kind of easy open bottle for someone who is 93 years old.  I mean, glaucoma usually occurs in older people.  Hello!  Old people have trouble with their sight, their strength, and their grip (on reality and jar lids).

And along those same lines, when I feel a migraine coming on, I don’t want to deal with a pill that is encased in plastic where you first have to break off a corner and then find the microscopic place that you can pull on to pull the plastic back, only to find that it is permanently adhered to the little bubble where the magic pill can be found.  My head is killing me and now I have to deal with this? I take a pair of scissors and savagely cut the thing to pieces.  Finally, my magic pill!  But by this time, my migraine is past the point where the pill will do much good. I take it anyway. Bleh…

I have coined a new word:  checkoutaphobia, the fear of being confused and looking stupid when you check out at Wal-Mart, Dollar General, etc.

I am eat up with checkoutaphobia.  There’s a disaster lurking at every cash register.  If I use cash to pay for my stuff, I end up doing the old lady thing of digging deeper and deeper into my billfold to find the correct change.  To do this, I have to take out the 1, 5 and 20 dollar bills, charge cards, and anything else I’ve dropped in there for safekeeping (Oh, look! There’s the necklace I’ve been looking for).  Once I have the correct change, I have to stuff all that back into my billfold which, of course, won’t fit for some ridiculous reason, and now I’m holding up the line and looking confused and feeling stupid.

If I use a credit card to pay for my stuff, I end up standing there, squinting at that little picture that shows the correct position of the credit card to use while swiping the card.  Does the side with the letters face down or up?  Do the letters go toward me or away from me?  Does the side with the stripe on it go down? If that’s correct, does it even matter where the letters are?  At this point, the cashier usually saves me by taking the card and quickly swiping it for me, for which I am both grateful and vaguely embarrassed.  As I look behind me, I see that I am, once again, holding up the line and looking confused and feeling stupid.

And as I get slower about these things, the cashiers are getting faster because the high-tech cash registers get faster all the time.

Things have really changed at the grocery store. I can’t unload my buggy fast enough to keep up with the cashier, so she’s standing there waiting for me to get my stuff on the counter so she can scan everything and then she immediately has my total, and is now waiting for me to pay as I struggle with the buggy and my purse.

Back when I was a kid (when  dinosaurs roamed the Earth), my sister and I would go with Mom to the grocery store on Friday nights and hurry home to watch The Flintstones. We loved that show and didn’t want to miss any of it.

I remember the cashier had to find the price sticker on each item and then manually enter it into the cash register.  Even with the fastest checker, there would be plenty of time for digging the cash out of your purse or pocket or even writing a check, all the while catching up on the latest rumor going around about the soap opera everyone watched.  The conversation would go on through the bagging of the groceries into big brown paper bags. And all the bags would be cheerfully taken to your car by a store employee. (We still have a grocery store locally that takes your stuff to your car.  It’s great, especially for old folk like myself.)

There was no checkoutaphobia back then.  There was no confusion about how to position your credit cards because there were no credit cards.  Just cold cash and hand-written checks.

But we must go forward and thank God for what we’ve got instead of what we had.  Sometimes, though, as checkoutaphobia surrounds me, I hear the faint echo of “Yaba daba do!” and I smile as I dig out the correct change and hold up yet another line…




Thursday, December 11, 2014

It's #ThrowbackThursday Time!

Wow!  How time flies!  Here's Serenity at 3 years old -- what a cutie! (I have Gran privileges, so I can say that).  This picture was taken in 2004...


Sunday, December 7, 2014

To Resolve or Not to Resolve

I need your help!

I'm doing some research on New Year's resolutions.

Do you make them?  Why?

If you make them, do you keep them?

What is the New Year's resolution that you regret making?

What is the New Year's resolution that you regret you did not keep?

Do you not make New Year's resolutions?  Why not?

Please leave a comment below or email me  at CarolWeeksSpeaks@charter.net.

I'll be doing a future post on this subject.  Thanks so much!


Friday, December 5, 2014

Carol’s Exceptionally Valuable Tips for Finding What is Lost

I waste so much time looking for something that I know I had in my hand just a few minutes before. I’ll be right in the middle of a project and suddenly I can’t find the wireless mouse or a pen that is not dried up and will actually write or the piece of paper with that wonderful blog idea that I can’t think of at the moment.

Of course, the first thing I should do is pray for guidance.  But I hate to bother God with such an idiotic request.  I mean, I just had it in my hand a minute ago.  I'm always so sure I can take care of it myself.

But I tend to quickly work myself into a frenzy by immediately being infuriated at myself for losing the item, followed by frantically searching but not really seeing, followed by getting all sweaty, which further infuriates me…   Well, you get the picture. 

This is the only time that I’m aware of that David actively leaves me alone.  He’s not even available for questioning because he’s run into the back yard, hopped on his lawnmower and headed down the street to mow somebody’s (anybody’s) lawn.

In the hopes of helping my fellow human beings, I offer the following ways to find what is lost.

1.  Finding your lost glasses without wearing your glasses puts you at a great disadvantage.  Try slowly walking around, retracing your steps, until you hear a crunch under your shoe.  How did they get down there?

2.  If you have retraced your steps and heard no crunch and therefore have given up and parked yourself in your recliner, a strange lump may reveal that you have found your now crooked glasses.

3.  If you don’t hear a crunch and you haven’t sat on something lumpy, check your head or hand.  Doing this first can save a lot of time.

4.  Try looking on your face.  You may already be wearing them.

     (Bonus Tip: Never tell someone you found your glasses on your face unless you are certain that that someone has done the same thing. Otherwise, they will laugh at you and tell everyone for years to come.)

5.  If you’re looking for your remote control for the TV, DVR, DVD player, Blu-Ray, sound system, the ceiling fan, the heater or the remote start for your car, try taking the sofa apart.  It’s probably not there, but there’s no telling what is.  Just be sure to collect all the dog hair or cat hair, because you still have time to knit that sweater for Cousin Cora for Christmas.

6.  After you’ve put the sofa back together, check your pockets.  I know, I know, you’d never put it in a – see?  I told you!

7.  Remember to look in unusual places.  It just makes sense:  If it’s not in the usual places, it’s got to be in the unusual places.  My mother once found her purse in the freezer.  That was some cold cash!  (Sorry; just couldn’t pass that one up)

8.  Don’t get sidetracked.  Keep your mind on what you’re looking for.  Or, if you have forgotten what you’re looking for, don’t worry.  It will wake you in the middle of the night with such force that you will be unable to go back to sleep until you get up and start looking for it again.

When I was growing up, I remember my dad saying, “Where’s the jelly?”  And Mom would say, “It’s in the refrigerator.” 

Long pause.  Daddy: “It’s not there.”  Mom:  “Yes, it is.  It’s on the middle shelf.” 

Long pause.  Daddy: “It’s not there.”  Mom:  “Yes, it is.”
 
Long pause.  Daddy: “No, it’s not.” Mom would make that noise that all moms make when their patience has run out.  “Wait a minute,” she’d say.  “I’ll come and look.” 

Shorter pause.  Mom:  “It’s right here.”  Daddy:  “Where?”  Mom:  “Behind the ketchup.  You have to move things.” 

This went on for several years until Daddy finally learned to put it a different way:  “I can’t see it.”  That led to Mom saying, “Move things” much sooner, which led to cutting the time it took to get into an argument about it.


I’m happy to report that this marriage lasted for 63 years.  And my dad did finally learn to move things.


Thursday, December 4, 2014

Throwback Thursday - W-a-a-a-y Back


This #TBT is from 1967.  I am 15, my sister Linda is 13.  I don't know why someone didn't tell me to sit up straight!  

I'm sure this picture was for a church directory.

If I remember correctly (which is pretty dicey nowadays), the dresses Linda and I had on came in a can.  They didn't wrinkle at all, which was a new thing back then.  If I wore that now, I'd look like an upholstered couch!

Have a great Throwback Thursday!

Your future will be brighter
    by far than your past.

Job 8:7 (CEV)