Bible Verse

Beg as loud as you can for good common sense. Proverbs 2:3

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Carol’s Exceptionally Valuable Camping Tips

Be nice to the folks in the camp office.  It’s a sure thing you will need them at some point.  And it will be for something embarrassingly simple, like not recognizing that big metal thing as the handle that turns the water on.

Your difficulty in correctly backing up into your camp site is directly related to how many snide remarks you made when the last camper came in.

An acorn hitting your camper sounds like someone fired a gun just outside your window. It does not signal a takeover of the camp by local thugs.

Don’t feel superior to tent campers, especially when it’s evident they don’t know how to get their tent set up, and even when part of it starts to fly away on a windy day.

Make sure all the shades are drawn in your camper before you take your pants off.

Don’t act like you are really camping when you’ve got a condo camper and the hardest part about it is where to set the thermostat for the central a/c and heat.

Don’t turn the blow dryer on when the hot water heater is on. This turns your husband into a ranting maniac who first can’t find a fuse and then can’t figure out where it goes.  And don’t get mad because your hair is still wet, because this won’t help at all.  Really.

No matter where you sit at a campfire, the smoke will blow in your face.  Each time you move, the wind will shift and the smoke will blow in your face.  You can move each time, call it a night and go inside your camper, or get used to stinging eyes and nostrils in addition to your clothes smelling like survivors of a forest fire.

Don’t use your leaf blower to blow every leaf off of your entire camp site.  This is nature.  We’re invading their space, not the other way around.

Using a camper toilet is weird.  The toilet paper becomes non-existent during use, so be sure to wash your hands every time.  It’s gross, but there’s no getting around it, unless you want to trudge to the nearest bath house every time or take your chances in the woods.

Chipmunks and squirrels will chew through almost anything to get to a few kernels of corn meant for the deer.  This includes a brand new, 10 x 14 patio mat. 

There will probably be another post along this line in the future. What tips can you contribute?  Please comment below.

Happy Trails to You from this Happy Camper…


  1. My darling Carol--I've so missed your posts!
    I knew there was a reason I'd never been camping, but your posts make me think about it more & more because, what are the odds these things would happen to both of us? Love you girlfriend!

    1. Cyn, you are always so good for my ego! Come on down to Alabama and we'll teach you how to camp...

  2. So true and very funny, Carol. Am camping this weekend under pine trees, (with large falling cones).

  3. Actually, we are uncamping at the moment because of expected bad weather early tomorrow morning. So we'll be at the house until all that clears out. The cats are still in the camper -- they'll have to fend for themselves!