I recently read where a woman walked into her bathroom, lifted the lid of the toilet and found a squirrel frantically trying to get out.
See, this is why I can't go into the bathroom after dark without flipping on the light and checking the toilet. For years, I thought it was just snakes I had to worry about. But now I see that squirrels are an equal threat.
It does no good to try to convince me that finding a snake or a squirrel in my toilet is highly unlikely. If I sit before I search – well, it gives "shy bladder" a whole new meaning.
And it doesn't help that I have probably put off going in there at all until the last minute available to me. So if I did find anything that could be classified as a non-toilet item, I would probably just lose it anyway. If you know what I mean…
I have twice found a chipmunk in my house, but he did not bother the toilet. He only uttered ear-piercing chirps and desperately tried to find the exit. He did leave a deposit that would have been more suited to the toilet, but I was grateful that he just finally found the open door to his freedom.
I had a cat once that actually peed in the pot. I don't know how he discovered how to do it. He had shown no overt interest in it. We had not previously discussed it, and I had never explained to him what I was doing while I sat there. He just decided, on his own, that he would use the facilities available to him. Really. I have a picture that I took of him in the act and it shows without a shadow of a doubt that he was using the pot.
Squirrels, snakes, chipmunks, cats… and with the bears from the toilet tissue in there, it's getting kinda crowded. Think I'll just head on over to the Jet Pep and use their restroom. It sounds safer to me somehow…
|BEG AS LOUD AS YOU CAN FOR GOOD COMMON SENSE|