Alas, the life of a writer/speaker is not an easy one.
Take, for example, the bio. This short little paragraph will be the death of me yet.
Every social media thingy requires a bio: Facebook, Twitter, Goggle +, Linked In.
I like to read Edie Melson’s blog because she knows her stuff and shares it so freely. She advocates having several bios of different lengths written and ready to go at a moment’s notice.
You have no idea how long I work at just this aspect.
The shorter the bio, the easier it is for me to write because then I only feel the need to be clever (there’s a stretch for you!). Unfortunately, the longer it is, the dumber I appear.
I have very little previous experience, even though I’m billing myself as a Christian speaker. I have no education to speak of other than being a Certified Laughter Leader. I’ve been to a couple of speakers’ conferences. I’ve spoken to a handful of very polite people who laughed at all the right places. I’ve had a couple of short devotions or stories published.
If you’re thinking that makes for a pretty good list – well, it doesn’t. Other bios include phrases like “best-selling author,” “keynote speaker,” “author of 6 books,” “member of the National Speakers Association,” and I could go on and on.
So why don’t I get busy and have something to put in my bio? Other than being downright lazy, I have no desire whatsoever to write a book. I think I may be the only person at a writers or speakers conference who is not lugging the first 5 chapters of a book I’m peddling to publishers or has no idea for a book I’m peddling to publishers.
Keynote speaker would be good, but so far no one has asked me. By the way, I have no credentials for that, either. (Not sure what those credentials would be, but I’m guessing they are more than I’ve got.)
To be a member of the National Speakers Association, you have to have at least 20 presentations under your belt. There’s lots more to it, but I quit reading after that.
According to blogging experts, if you are running a business of writing or speaking, no one is interested in the names, ages and/or pictures of your grandchildren. Well, shoot – that would have added several words to the word count.
You see, each bio is a certain number of words: 25, 50, 100 and 150. Everything you write and submit for publication should have a bio attached to it. The writers guidelines will usually mention how long the bio should be.
Ah, the writers guidelines. Each publication has its own set of rules and regulations to follow. It has to be a certain number of words, or at least a certain number of words, or no longer than a certain number of words. It has to be in a certain font in a certain size. It has to be submitted by e-mail, sometimes as part of the e-mail itself and sometimes as an attachment. And if the guidelines are not followed, they will automatically reject it for consideration.
Have you got all that? Mercy! And you thought I just sat around all day thinking up semi-witty things to say.
But, seriously, folks – if this Christian humorist thing gets any further than it is now, it will definitely be by God’s hand.
|BEG AS LOUD AS YOU CAN FOR GOOD COMMON SENSE.|