Bible Verse

Beg as loud as you can for good common sense. Proverbs 2:3

Friday, November 15, 2013

What's the Deal With Growing Purses?

Are you the victim of a growing purse?

It’s a subtle thing that will eventually grab you, shake you and then demand even more.  I speak from experience.
For years (like 30 of them), every purse I carried had three zippered compartments, each compartment having certain things in it. 

My billfold, checkbook, pens and paper were in the first one. 
The second was for Tylenol, Kleenex, anti-acids, and what looked to be a small pharmacy. 

That left the third one as miscellaneous, but I always knew I could find my stash of Splenda if I looked long enough.
I don’t know why I changed my life-long philosophy about purse organization.  Well, it could be that I was tired of looking like an 80-year-old former teacher who mutters to herself while shopping.  I’m not knocking former teachers who are 80 years old.  It’s just that I’m 61 and decidedly not a teacher.  The muttering to herself while shopping could be true in my case, but I’m not admitting to anything, especially here in front of God and everyone.

Actually, once the idea found a home in my head, purses began to call to me, like motzerella cheese sticks every time I pass a Sonic.  I started noticing women’s purses everywhere I went.  I watched with fascination as women carried their purses with apparent ease, were able to quickly fish their cell phones out, and could always get to their credit cards when needed.
And the purses themselves appeared to belong to younger, hip women, women who take charge and get things done.

Yeah, that’s what I wanted.  My 91-year-old mother went with me, and she’s the one who helped me pick the color once I figured out what type I wanted.
A big thanks to Mom because the color is about the only thing that’s good about it.

The new purse has 3 compartments, but two are not zippered.  Since I frequently sling my purse into the floor as I’m driving (I wish people would get out of my way!), I strategically placed my billfold, cell phone, checkbook, and other items so that I wouldn’t lose anything forever in the littered pit known as the floor of my car.
At first, during the honeymoon period, everything was great.  It was a great looking purse, and people complimented me as I strutted around with my new acquisition.  When I compared my purse with other hip women (or maybe that should be women who have had hip replacement), I found that I was right in there at the top.  I could set it down, and it would stand proudly by my side until the next adventure.  Woo-hoo!

Woo-hoo indeed.  Here comes the sneaky part.  As I used the purse and put completely-necessary-to-my-life articles into my purse, it didn’t stand quite as tall.  It slowly, slowly began to hunker down until it turned into a very aggravating, chaotic puddle of stuff.
The bottom of each compartment looks as if it’s disappeared.  After several rather embarrassing incidents in which it seemed that I didn’t know my own purse, I realized that the bottom of the first compartment had sagged to the point of disappearing underneath the bottom of the middle compartment.

No one tells you these things before you buy. 
And FYI:  Never put anything with a pin in it in any compartment of the purse.  It will immediately disappear and then, way later, when the memory has been lost as to why the pin is in there, and, for that matter, that there is a pin in there, it will strike you with lightning speed and make you scream like a little girl right there as you are ordering at McDonald’s drive-through.

Again, I’m not admitting to anything, but I hope that young lady gets her hearing back real soon.
So here’s one of those hard-learned lessons of life:  It’s never a good thing when your purse sags more than you do.  In my case, it’s downright criminal.

2 comments:

  1. LOVE this! I had to switch to a smaller purse, due to the pain in my back.
    WHAT A DISASTER!
    I even bought those purse sections that snap to the sides of the purse, to help with organization. HA! They have a mind of their own...and it's not a well mind.
    I gave up, & found a purse with enough storage, easy access for the phone, & keys clipped to a ring on the strap. BLISS!

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  2. i do not think your purse sags, and you always look good to me. lu davy

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