Bible Verse

Beg as loud as you can for good common sense. Proverbs 2:3

Friday, September 27, 2013

I have a new life verse!

Well, actually, to tell the truth, this is my first life verse.
You know what a life verse is, right?

According to whatchristianswanttoknow.com, a life verse is “a verse from the Bible (or a small passage) that you choose to be your most favorite verse; it is the one that you commit to memory to share with others.”  And they helpfully suggest 20 different verses that might fit the bill.
Mine is not among them. 

Nor is it among the 37 listed in the various comments that follow the above 20.
But seeing as there’s over 31,000 verses in the Bible, I can see where people could overlook a great life verse like mine.

And when I tell you what it is, you’ll smack your forehead like the V-8 people and think, “Why didn’t I pick that one for my life verse?”
I didn’t know this was my favorite verse until recently when I was scanning the Bible for something else entirely.  And this just jumped right into my head and wouldn’t let go. 

And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that if everyone followed this verse, the world would be a better place.
Awesome, right?

I’m going to be quoting this verse as often as I can and wherever I can to do my part for world peace.
It would be appropriate at Wal-Mart, K-Mart, and the phantom Target that crops up in conversations from time to time.

I could recite it as I picked up my order at the drive-thru at McDonald’s or as the sandwich artist is making my masterpiece sandwich at Subway (Get a club on white; you won’t be disappointed).
People at the bank, I’m sure, will be thrilled to hear it.  Those good folks at Merrill Gardens where my mother lives will heartily agree that this is one swell verse.

It will be priceless in my role as a volunteer mediator in Small Claims Court.  I could ask the judge to announce it before he calls the docket.  There will be no cases to mediate because this verse takes in every conceivable circumstance.
My life verse fits everywhere.  You’ll see what I mean. 

Here it is:

Beg as loud as you can for good common sense.  Proverbs 2:2

Wow!  Admit it:  It doesn’t get any better than that. 
And just think: you could of had a V-8!
 

Friday, September 20, 2013

Driving Me Nuts

Driving a car is such a personal matter.  No one likes to hear negative comments about their skill (or lack thereof) while being in the driver’s seat. 

There was this one time, though, that cracked me up.
I had picked David up at his work so we could eat lunch together.  On the way over there, just a few miles from our house, I had gotten behind one slow driver after another, a car had pulled out in front of me so that I had to slam on my brakes, no one was using their blinkers, and I was pretty steamed by the time I got to David.

Of course, I launched into a rant about the traffic while zooming around cars and rushing through almost-red lights to get to the restaurant and make up for the slow trip.
Finally, I said, “I’m telling you, if I ever have a stroke, it will be while I’m driving.”

David, not missing a beat, said, “Honey, if I ever have a stroke, it will be while you’re driving!”
Cracked me up.  Almost had a wreck because I was laughing so hard.  Love ya, David!

Friday, September 13, 2013

What's Your Sign?


 
If I was into signs and omens, I might have backed out of my own wedding. I think you’ll agree:

1. For one thing, the air-conditioner went out in the Fellowship Hall where the reception was going to be held. My wedding date was June 12, and in Alabama it was already pretty hot. The sanctuary was fine because it was on another a/c unit, but the fellowship hall was hot and stuffy. I was so afraid my Mr. Donut wedding cake would start to melt! (Mr. Donut went out of business shortly thereafter, and I’ve always wondered if my cake had anything to do with that.)

2. And then, maybe the strongest sign yet was that the florist sent a big cross with flowers all over it instead of the large nosegay I had ordered.

I was beside myself. That cross looked like it belonged in a funeral parlor. I was not going to carry that thing down the aisle! It was quickly fixed by a phone call to the florist. Thank God (and I mean that literally).

3. At some point during the wedding ceremony, David and I kneeled. I always swayed a bit when my eyes were closed, and I was so nervous that day, my swaying was a little more than usual. I didn’t realize I was moving, but David did and he thought he was crooked and I was trying to straighten him up! We both nearly went over. Thank God (again) that the congregation also had their eyes closed so they didn’t see us suddenly jerk to an upright position.

4. My veil was kinda stuck to the lace on the back of my wedding gown, so I couldn’t move my head very far. The headpiece was barely attached to my head. No matter how many bobby pins we had put in the thing, it still wouldn’t stay put. So I was afraid to move much anyway.
 
5. On my wedding day, one of Mom’s toilets got stopped up, so we only had 1 bathroom for 8 people!

6. My future mother-in-law had a terrible migraine that day.

Although all of the above could put a damper on anyone’s wedding, at the end of the ceremony, we were married and that’s all that counted anyway.

What’s your wedding catastrophe story?

 

Friday, September 6, 2013

Knee Deep


Last December, I had a total knee replacement of my right knee.  The physical therapy was successful by all assessments, and I was set free to live life with at least 1 knee that would work properly.
I had dreaded this surgery for years because I’m a wimp and I could not imagine doing something painful or having something painful done to me without losing control and crying and just wimping out in general.
Turns out it really wasn’t all that bad.
What I wasn’t prepared for was the effect of the pain medication.  I literally sat in my beloved recliner for 6 weeks doing nothing.  My attention span was about 2 minutes long. 
I couldn’t read because my eyes would literally cross after just a few minutes.  And that really didn’t matter, because I couldn’t remember what I had just managed to read. 
I couldn’t write because after a few minutes, I couldn’t think of what to put next.  And to beat that, what I had just written didn’t make any sense.
About 2 weeks after my surgery, I managed to spill a Coke Zero on my computer and kill it.  I sleep in my recliner and the canned Coke was on my table beside me.  During the night, I had a dream about spilling something.  I woke up at some point after that and realized that not only had I spilled something in real life, I had chosen the most expensive thing in the room to spill it on.
I knew I was asking the same thing over and over, but, for the life of me, I couldn’t remember the answer. 
I had to look at my phone to see what day it was.  Repeatedly.
I was mostly okay with people talking to me.  Well, I did wake up one day and ask my husband to help me because I couldn’t stop dreaming about Marmaduke, a giant dog in the Sunday funnies that I hadn’t seen in years.  Does that count as mostly ok?
I couldn’t wait to get back to my normal routine, so I went to a meeting at church, full of drugs, walking with a cane, and immediately felt like I was getting sucked down into a vortex of voices, comments, and decisions.  Things weren’t making sense to me because I couldn’t process the words fast enough.  Thank God (and I mean that literally) no one asked me anything in front of the group.  I managed to say a few things just generally, and my husband assures me I didn’t act like a fool while doing it.   
So what I managed to do mostly for my six weeks was to watch TV, changing the channels every few moments.  Yes, just like a man, I trolled through the good, the bad and what used to be called porn and is now very common on every type of program you can name. 
Maybe my attention span wasn’t as bad while watching TV because there’s not much worth watching for over ten minutes.  Honey Boo Boo? Dance Moms? Jersey Shore?
 
Is it time for my pain medication?  Please?