Bible Verse

Beg as loud as you can for good common sense. Proverbs 2:3

Friday, August 9, 2013

Thank Heavens for Waffle House

A long time ago, in another century altogether, a young man (we’ll call him David) and a young woman (we’ll call her Carol) were married.  They were high school sweethearts and tied the knot just a few weeks after Carol graduated from Butler High School in Huntsville, AL.

We’ll cut to the chase and say that Carol did not know how to cook.  David, however, was very fond of eating stuff that had been cooked.

“No problem,” thought Carol.  “I’ve watched Mom cook my whole life, all 18 years of it, so I can cook for David.”

David’s favorite meal was breakfast.  He looked forward to sitting down to eggs, bacon, and toast every morning. 

Carol’s least favorite meal was breakfast.  She had no idea that David’s whole day could be ruined by a sub-par breaking of the fast.

Being a new bride and all, Carol was very eager to please her brand new husband.  So their first morning as mister and missus, Carol proudly served bacon, eggs, toast, milk and orange juice to David. 

She watched eagerly as he ate each bite, asking anxiously after nearly every one, “Is it okay?”  “What can I do to make it better?”

David knew she was trying hard and, being a brand new husband and all, thought she really wanted to know the answers to her questions.  He said, “Well, bacon is supposed to be crisp, not limp.  Toast is brown, not white.  Orange juice is supposed to be cold.  And eggs are firm and they don’t slide around on the plate.”

As unlikely as it seems, David survived that conversation.

He awoke the next morning to the smell of bacon frying in the pan and looked forward to a wonderfully correct meal.  Ha.  Ha.

What he saw was 2 pieces of bacon resembling a burnt offering, toast blackened to the point of being unrecognizable, and eggs that could have been bounced on the floor.  The orange juice looked as though it had come directly from the freezer, sort of an orange iceberg in a glass.

David could see that Carol had tried really hard.  As he attempted to eat what she had offered, she again began asking her questions, “Is it okay?” “How can I make it better?” 

David frantically tried to come up with the appropriate answer.  Here, again, David’s inexperience counted against him.

“Well,” he said, “It’s just not quite like Mama makes.”

As unlikely as it seems, David survived that conversation.

And, 43 years later, he is still waiting for Carol to again lovingly fix his breakfast.

As far as Carol is concerned, he can wait another 43, ‘cause it just ain’t gonna happen.




  1. Oh Carol! I giggled all the way thru this post! I can hear your voice..." as unlikely as it seems...." Oh thank you!

  2. I now have her eating biscuit, egg, and cheese, from WAFFLE HOUSE. davy Who is the kids in the picture?

  3. Really relate to this! When KFC started frying chicken and Hardee's making biscuits, I let THEM do it. Gives you more time for the important things anyway. M.